Originally this post was called “Relationship Building // Key to Leadership” and then I realized that was way too limited. But, I love leadership, following it, helping others become great leaders, etc., and that just tends to be my filter. What I wanted to share with you, however, goes further than leadership. It’s just some good advice from a book I’m reading right now that I believe will help as we develop relationships in every area of life.

I was reading last night in a book and the author listed 7 “B’s” of relationship building. They are:

Be Real.

Be interested (not just interesting).

Be a better listener.

Be empathetic.

Be honest.

Be helpful

Be prompt.

What I love most is that all of these are outward focused. They turn our attention toward the other rather than ourself. That advice sounds pretty basic, but so often we move away from the basic prinicple of “its not about you,” and we become quick to accuse, quick to think of ourselves as right and superior and we begin to destroy relationships rather than build them up. And these are small things that should take little effort. I’ll leave you with two quotes from the author about two of the above areas and let you process them as you need.

Be helpful. Little things make a big difference. Lots of small things cumulatively make a huge difference.

Be prompt. Time is the one thing that many people have far less of than money. Helping them save time by being prompt and efficient is a gift of great value.

*Quotes come from the “The Fred Factor” by Mark Sanborn.

It seems like ages ago, but in the decade since online social networking first emerged, we’ve been given the amazing abilities to connect with friends, family, and people with similar interests all over the world. No longer discouraged by expensive long distance phone bills or impossible time differences, we can keep in touch with faraway family members and get back in touch with long lost friends. But, while we all take advantage of the wonderful possibilities of sites like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, let’s not forget about the people sitting right next to us and make a little daily small talk.

The casual conversations we have with strangers and acquaintances everyday are a key component of what makes us human. Small talk can be as simple as a “Nice day, huh?”, but it is by no means insignificant. In fact, these small connections we establish with one another open us up to new experiences, friendships, careers, and more. They can even save your life.
But don’t take our word for it; just listen to this powerful story as told by the two amazing women who lived it:

So next time you’re waiting in line at the grocery store or grabbing your morning coffee at your local café, put down the Blackberry, and look at the real person standing right in front of you, take that small step, and say hello.

Linda Kaplan Thaler is the CEO and Chief Creative Officer of The Kaplan Thaler Group and is a featured speaker in the Maximum Impact Simulcast. Her new book, co-authored with Robin Koval is THE POWER OF SMALL: Why Little Things Make All the Difference, available online and in bookstores nationwide.

I love this picture. It’s a picture of the church. It showed up yesterday in The Valley Times under the “Lifestyles” section (which of course is the appropriate to put this picture rather than the “Religion” section). The caption tells about how several groups came together to help feed some hungry friends in LaFayette, AL: A Baptist Church, a grocery store, a car dealership; a funeral home, Cornerstone “Unity” Methodist Church, a bank, and a barber shop.

But there is a great story behind this picture. It started with a few Cornerstone folks who had a connection with Carl Ashford, a gentleman who operates “A Vision to Feed” (a donations based organization, that simply feeds hungry people). These few people rounded up their small groups and even called up some new faces that they had just met at the last Cornerstone 101. There was nothing published on the website, no strategic mass communication, no announcement at the end of the service on Sunday. Rather, it was more like a groundswell…a buzz between friends who knew other friends who knew some other people. It was an organic movement that turned into something beautiful.

It get’s better. They all showed up in LaFayette last Saturday morning to help cook 435 meals. They served alongside each other and were ready to feed those who came hungry as Carl had planned. But not many folks showed up. The group waited around looking at each other until Brian Caldwell in true UPS fashion said, “Pack ‘em up, we’re gonna take it to the people.” (Brian just so happens to be the UPS driver for this area and knew exactly where the most needy people lived…he was the one who delivered their meds.) So this little band of people loaded up with to-go boxes and went to the neighborhoods, knocking on doors, passing out smoked chicken, veggies and hot-dogs for the kids.

I love this story. It was a shared experience among these friends and they saw a new side of each other that day. And this happened because these people have a fundamental understanding that they are the church…the very hands and feet of Jesus Christ in East Alabama today. I chalk this up as a great win for the Kingdom.

Be the church.

One thought that’s weighing on me, though, is where could I be leading that I am not yet leading. And I’m writing this because I think it is something that we all need to be wrestling with. Leaders are created when they see a need, their heart becomes passionate about that need, they step forward to meet that need, and then people follow a clear path that has been laid out. Now, I don’t know if John Maxwell would agree completely with that assessment, but I think its a very simplified while accurate statement. When we don’t step up to meet that need, however, something is left undone.

Recently, in a book I’ve been reading called Killing Cockroaches: And Other Scattered Musings on Leadership, the author Tony Morgan writes this, “We can’t just sit on our hands and wait for God to do something. He’s called us to be a part of his mission. I’ve learned time after time that God reveals his plans as I begin to take steps of obedience.”

I feel like this post has partially been some rambling that may be confusing, but in my mind, I’m marrying these two thoughts right now and they are not fitting nicely together yet. That is, what are needs that I need to be stepping forward to lead in, and am I waiting on a “big voice” as my excuse for not stepping up, or do I need to move forward in obedience with a specific need that I see so that God will add some clarity to where I’m leading.

Does that make sense at all…Someone help me with this.